In this, the Waiting For Groza season preview extravaganza, we move on to the Northwest Division. Joining me, as always, for this installment is Agnew, the megalomaniacal anthropomorphic eggplant living in my fridge. Why? Because it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Waiting For Groza: Moving on to the Western Conference, up first in the Northwest is...
Agnew: Agnew is bored an tired an hungry an wants chicken soup an meatballs an warm jelly an a Lithuanian toothpick factory! Agnew is going home!
Waiting For Groza: Can I persuade you to stay? It's not like I know what I'm talking about, and we need a facade of reasonable analysis.
Agnew: Agnew will stay on one condition and that condition is that Agnew will preview this whole division using nothing but the form of limerick form!
Waiting For Groza: I'm probably going to regret this...
Agnew: There was a team called the Blazers/Lady Luck did them no favors/Greg, Joel, Nick, and Roy went down/Rose Garden cheers still did sound/And now they're stuffed with good players.
Projected Record: 56-26, 1st in West.
Agnew: There was a team everybody loved/To the limit the Lakers they shoved/Now with great expectations/From Durant's ministrations/To break the Plexiglass hard enough.
Projected Record: 49-33, 5th in West.
Agnew: From Stockton to Deron in Salt Lake/The winning streak has been hard to break/Replacing Carlos with Al/Might take a while to gel/By about March this mixture should take.
Projected Record: 47-35, T-6th in West.
Agnew: Carmelo, Carmelo, Carmelo/It makes Agnew sick like warm Jell-O/What about Billups and Nene/Leading the team into May/While to a new team he says "Hello".
Projected Record: 44-38, T-8th in West.
Agnew: The laughingstock of Minnesota/Placing their hopes in Love and Frodo/Some talent is there/It might not be fair/But faith in Kahn? Not one iota.
Projected Record: 21-61, 15th in West.